Crashed Baby Shower

(January 15th)
*Bey's house. Baby shower*


Solo: Damn Thu. Slow down. The food isn't going anywhere.
Ty: She's is inhaling that food.
Angie: Greedy ass
Bey: Y'all know have enough ASS for ALL of y'all to KISS. Pick a spot. 
Kelly: That was a good a one Bey. High 5! *they high 5*
Ty: That was most corny shit ever. 
Bey: WASP!
Ty: Don't be calling me that BeyHive mess. 
Mama Gloria: Bey, have you come up with a name?
Ty: *whispers* Crayola Crayon.
Bey: I heard that! But Jay want to name him Blue Corey Carter or Corey Blue Carter.
Ty: I'll keep my thoughts to myself. 


*knock knock*


Bey: Can someone get the door. I can't get up.
Solo: I got it thu thu. *gets the door* 
Bey: Who is it Solo?
Jay: *walks in* What's up everyone?
Bey: Way to kill the happiness!

Mama Tina: Beyonce cut it out! 

Bey: What? He wasn't even invited-

Mama Tina: That is the father of your baby.

Bey: I don't care. He needs to go.

Mama Tina: Beyonce! Shut up. Jay you can stay.

Bey: Mama!! No he can't. Bye Jay. 

Mama Tina: Beyonce. If it wasn't for Jay you wouldn't be having this baby shower in the first place.

Bey: Am I the only one who sees the fact he-

Mama Tina: He's trying Beyonce. You need to stop being so so stubborn. Get out of your feelings. It's not about you. It's about my grand baby. He's the father of your child. You need get that through your thick ass skull.

Ty: *whispers* *sings* That's just her baby daddy.

Bey: I still don't care. Shawn. You can't stay. You need to leave.

Jay: Alright. Fine. Let me give you the gift I bought before I leave.

Ty: Aww shit. He came wit a gift. Tuh, You better give up the...never mind. 

Bey: Gift? 

Jay: Yeahh. I brought you something. It's on the way up right now. 

*Knock knock*

Jay: That's it right now. *opens the door* *to delivery man* Thank you.

Delivery Man: You're welcome sir.

Jay: *bringing the gift in*

Everyone: Awwwwwwww!!

Bey: Awww Jay. *struggles to stand up* This is the exact crib I was looking at. I thought that they were sold out. Oh my goshhhhh!! *hugs him tight* *Jay kisses her forehead*

Kelly: Ohhh noooow you want him to stay.

Angie: Right! Beyonce you are so fake. *laughs* 

Bey: Shut upp. Y'all always got something to say. 

Jay: You gone let me stay now?

Bey: Yeah. I suppose you can stay.

Jay: For real?

Bey: No nigga. For play play. *giggles* Come on. Let's sit down. 

*They sit next to each other on the couch* 

Mama Gloria: Aww look you guys. Finally being civil.

Mama Tina: Lets take a picture before the mood changes.

Bey: Ohh Lord. 

Mama Tina & Mama Gloria: *pulls out cameras*

Mama Tina: Can you scoot closer together? *they scoot closer*

Mama Gloria: Touch her belly.

Mama: Put your arm around her.

Solo: Ooooo mama. You are doing the absolute MOST.

Mama Tina: *snap* Now kiss on her on the lips!

Bey: You're pushing it mama.

Mama Gloria: Nice try Tina.

Mama Tina: Welp. It was worth a shot. 

Bey: I wanna see the gifts!!

Angie: Of course you do. Moocher. 

Bey: *giggles* Mhmm. My middle name. Jay can you bring the gifts closer to me please?

Jay: No problem! *brings the gifts close to Bey* *sits next to Bey*

Bey: Thank you. *smiles at him*

Jay: You're welcome. *winks* 

Ty: OKAY! Stop boo lovin and open a gift already.

Bey: Ain't no body boo lovin..whatever that is. *grabs gift*  This is froooooomm..Annie. *opens gift* Awww. 

Solo: Lift it up so we can see it too fooh!

Bey: *lifts it up* It says "I love my aunty "

Angie: NOT YOU KELLY. *laughs*

Kelly: HA-HA! Very funny! 

Bey: There's five different colors. Thank you Annie.

Annie: You're welcome. *smiles* 

Jay: My son ain't gone love you. False advertisement! *laughs*

Annie: Jay. You shut up!

Mama Gloria: Hold up it. I wanna picture. 

Jay: Y'all like the paparazzi! *chuckles* 

Mama Tina: Say cheese. 

Bey & Jay: *smiles* Cheesssseeeee *snap*

Mama Gloria: Next gift.

Bey: *grabs gift* Thiss is frooooooomm Kelly.

Ty: Here comes the RATCHETNESS!

Kelly: Shut up. Jay you gone like my gift. 

Jay: Ohhh yeahh? Am I?

Bey: *opens gift* Kelly Rowland. Why in the world?? *laughs*

Jay: Ayeeeeee *laughs* That's what's up Kelly!

Bey: *hold ups gift* A Gucci and LV onesie pajamas. *giggles*

Kelly: You like it Bey? *giggles*

Bey: I love it. Thank you Kelly. *laughs*

Jay: My son gone be swagged out coming home from the hospital! *chuckles* 

Bey: *grabs gift* This is frooooom..You mama. *opens gift* Awww "Grandma Loves Me" This is cute mom. 

Mama Tina: I'm trying not to cry. 

Solo: Bring on the water works. Lawd Jesus.

Bey: Awww mama don't cry. If you cry then I'mma-

Ty: Girl please. You always cry. Cry baby ass. 

Mama Tina: I'm not. Just open the next gift.

Bey: *grabs gift* This froooooom Michelle. *opens gift* I like it. Monkey pajamas. Thank you Michelle.

Michelle: You're welcome Bey.

(Ty) 

That has Target written all over it. Shame. Bey is not gone put her child in that ugly shit. Over my dead body. Michelle is so cheap. See this is why I don't like black people now. 

(Solo) 

Beyonce is so damn fake! It's ridiculous. I know she don't like that. She's better off putting him in some Dereon. 

(Bey)

Michelle?? See this is why I call Kelly my sister and not her ass. She is so... I'm giving this to the goodwill.

(Jay) 

I refuse to put my child in that. Michelle ain't right. 

*They continue to open the gifts. They are talking about names for the baby* 

Bey: Solange. I am not naming my child "Jayonce" get over it.

Solo: That name is cute. You are trippin!

Ty: You need to stop smoking with Daniel!

Bey: I like Jayden

Michelle: That's cute. 

Solo: That'll do.

Jay: Jayden Corey Carter.

Solo: Don't you mean Knowles. Y'all ain't married.

Bey: Solange! Stop.

Kelly: You just had to be all in the child's name huh Jay?

Angie: I'm saying. You just took over the whole damn name

Mama Tina: I like that. That's cute..

Bey & Jay: Thank you.  

Mama Gloria: Oooo! Shawn and Beyonce. Y'all should take picture by the cake.

Bey: Y'all are tryna kill me. All getting up and sitting back will send me into labor. 

Jay: We don't have to if you're to tired to get up.

Ty: Her big ass is too tired to do anything.

Bey: Ty boo. I love you and all but don't make whoop yo ass. You gone get enough. 

Ty: My bad Preggyonce.

Bey: If you wanna take the pictures we can. 

Jay: Do you want to?

Bey: I don't feel like getting back up but if you want. We can.

Jay: It's doesn't matter. I mean it's great for the baby book.

Kelly: *whisper* Mmm. He just tryna get some pregnant puss. 

Ty: *whispers* Mhmm. Right. He ain't foolin no damn body.

Solo: Ughhhh! Either y'all take the pictures or not! DAMN. I'm getting restless.

Mama Tina: Jay. Help her up so y'all take these pictures.

Jay: *helps her up* You got Bey baby?

(Bey) 

Did he just call me baby? Lord knows I miss him calling me baby. Got damn he looks good. He smells even better. I just wanna take him in that room...Wait! Snap out of Bey. Control ya hormones..

Bey: *stands up* Yeah. Thanks.

Ty: *whispers* Did just call her baby? 

Angie: *whispers* Yup. He wants the pantie draws. 

Ty: *whispers* Okay. I thought I was high. 

Angie: *whispers* We will be after we leave. Ganja!

*They go to table where the cake is sitting. Jay stands behind Bey* 

Mama Gloria: Y'all look so cute. 

Mama Tina: Looking like a little family. 

Bey: Can we just take the picture. My feet hurt.

Ty: Those sausage hammer toes! *laughs* 

Angie: You are so pregnant, Pregnant lips, pregnant neck, pregnant everything.

Bey: Would y'all leave me ALONE. *giggles* 

Mama Tina: Say cheese!

Bey & Jay: Cheeesssseee! *snaps*

Mama Tina: Touch her stomach!

Jay: *touches her stomach and the baby kicks* 

Bey: Did you feel that Jay?

Jay: Yeaahhhh. He kicked hard too.

Kelly: Lil Jayden is happyyy. *smiles*

*They all take turns taking pictures with Bey and Jay by the cake. They cut the cake. Eat the cake and ice cream. Turn on some music and starts dancing. Bey's greedy ass was still eating; Jay was sitting next to her while she was eating watching everyone dance and what not.*

Jay: *whispers in her ear* Can we talk in private?

Bey: *looks at him* Umm. Sure. We can go in my room.

*They go into Bey's room. No one noticed that they left the living room. Bey sits on her bed and Jay stands in front of her*

Bey: What is it? *hold belly*

Jay: I want to say sorry-

Bey: Stop! Save your bullshit apology! I don't wanna hear it!

Jay: I really am sorry-

Bey: You're ALWAYS sorry Shawn! You were sorry the first 5 times you cheated on me! You were sorry when verbally abused me! You were sorry when you hit me and threw me into the wall! So why are you "sorry" this time!? *holds belly*

Jay: Are you okay? Why are you holding your stomach like?

Bey: I'm fine. I think I just ate a little too much.

Jay: You sure. Maybe you should try to go poop. 

Bey: I'm okay. I think I ate to much cake. Baby doesn't like too much sugar...as you were saying.

Jay: I know I keep fuckin up-

Bey: You just keep cheating on me, but I let you do it. Not anymore! You and I? WE! No longer exsist! We're done! Over! No more running back to you! I'm not taking you back! You hurt me enough! This is where I draw the line! You can be here for your son but that's it! I'm the baby mama and you're the baby daddy! No more playing house! *breaths heavy*

Jay: Beyonce. Are you sure that you're okay? You need to go to the toilet. 

Bey: Maybe you're right. Help me up please.

Jay: *helps her up* You are huge.

Bey: Oh gee thanks!

Jay: I mean like big in the belly!

Bey: *gives him an evil look*

Jay: Like baby bump. But you look B.E.Yutiful. *chuckles*

Bey: *giggles* That was cute. *smiles*

Jay: I know! *chuckles*

*Bey goes to the toilet and Jay stands right by the door and Bey starts farting a lot*

Jay: Damn. My boy gave you gas. *laughs*

Bey: This is so embarrassing *giggles*

Jay: You act like I never heard you fart before. It ain't nothing. Stanky booty ass. *laughs*

Bey: Shut up *laughs* *flushes toilet* *washes hands* *comes out* I feel 20 pounds lighters. *touches belly* Well..

Jay: *chuckles*....So like I was saying-

Bey: We can talk about it later on tonight.
Jay: Tonight?
Bey: Yes. You wanna stay the night?
Jay: Hell yeah I do.
Bey: Sit ya dick down!! You ain't getting none boy! 
Jay: Well as long as I get to stay the night with you. 
Bey: *silence*
Jay: Bey?
Bey: *silence*
Jay: Beyonce? You okay?
Bey: Jay?
Jay: Yeah?
Bey: My water just broke.




TO BE FUCKING CONTINUED!!!!!



Shout out to @CourtLuvsBey!!!!! Love you sister!!!
Typos? OH. DEAL! Hehe.