Time Out

(Bey)

I sat in the chair next to his bed. I grabbed his hand. I kept crying. I felt like shit. The last thing I told him was that I didn't care if he died. I didn't mean but I'm just really hurt by him cheating on me all the time. I know he knows that I love him but what I said was fucked up. Dear God, please let Jay be okay. I really need him to pull through. Not even for me, but for our son. He can't grow up without a father. I  will do anything for Jay to be okay. He then squeezed my hand tight. I looked at him and his eyes opened. I was kind of freaked out. Did he read my thoughts? Seems like it. 

Jay: *raspy voice* What you doing here? 

Bey: I came to make sure that you were okay.

Jay: *cough* Oh now all of sudden you care?

Bey: Jay you know that I care-

Jay: That's not what you said last time-

Bey: I only said it because I was upset! I-

Jay: You need to think before you say shit! 

Bey: You're absolutely right!! I'm so so so sooo sorry! I feel like shit!

Jay: You should feel like shit. You should feel worse!

After everything that we've been through! From the beginning! How can you wish that the baby wasn't mine?

Bey: Jay I'm-

Jay: Did you just say that because you're mad or do you really feel that way??? Don't lie!

Bey: I said it because I was upset and hurt. But if you want to be honest I do feel that way some times. When you cheat on me. 

Jay: I hurt you that bad you don't care if I live or die?

Bey: You hurt me deeply but I do care. That's why I'm here right now. 

Jay: You think that just because you came here that means something? It doesn't mean shit. Like you told me "sorry's don't mean shit"!

Bey: You gotta believe me when I tell you that I'm BEYOND sorry for being a bitch towards you. 

Jay: why the fuck should I believe you? You ain't believe me.

Bey: I know, but how I can believe someone when they always apologize? I know that you love-

Jay: I love you more than life! I hurt you and you hurt me but I never said that I want you to die!

Bey: I didn't say that!

Jay: Yes you did! You're the reason why I'm here!!!

Bey: You know that I love you Jay-

Jay: If you loved me then am I in here? 

Bey: I don't know the answer to that. I know that what I said was wrong and I shouldn't have said that but why would you go this route and leave our son to be fatherless?

Jay: Now I'm starting to believe that Justin is the father. He seems to pop up every time we break up. 

Bey: Oh my goodness Jay!!! Why do we keep going back to this!!?? You are the father!! Do you want a DNA test??

Jay: Damn right I do!!

Bey: *tears fall*

Jay: What the fuck you crying for?? 

Bey: Because you always treat me like I'm so type of hoe or something.

Jay: That's because you are! Stop acting like one. I wouldn't treat you like one.

Bey: *wipes tears* You cheated on me!!!! How am I the hoe?

Jay: So what! I wasnt fuckin these bitch raw! You let these niggas slide in and out! 

Bey: Are you kidding me Shawn!? See how you talk me to me!! Nothing has changed!! 

Jay: What did you expect? A hug? A kiss? Hell nah! You been an asshole to me when I was tryna show you how sorry I was. I was really was sorry for hurting you. You don't give a shit about me and I don't give a shit about you. You was right! I'm single, so I'ma go back to the old me. I don't need you if you don't need me. 

Bey: I do need you Jay!

Jay: Nah Nahh! You wasn't here for me and I wasn't here for you. I'm glad we ain't together. The only time Imma talk to you is when I'm picking my son up on the weekends. 

Bey: *wipes tears* You don't mean that. I know you still love me, because I still love you.

Jay: Love aint stop me from..Never mind.

Bey: Can you find it somewhere in your heart to forgive me?

Jay: Give me one good reason why I should?

Bey: Because you still love me deep down!

Jay: Not good enough!

Bey: What about for Jayden??

*the doctor walked in before Jay could answer*

Doctor: How are you feeling?

Jay: Im coo. Better days!

Doctor: Okay. Well we're going to keep you over night to monitor to you. Release you in the morning.

Jay: Alright. 

Doctor: Take good care of your husband ma'am. 

Jay: Husband? 

Bey: I'll try. If he lets me. 

*Doctor leaves*

Jay: Husband?

Bey: That was the only way i'd be able to see you!

Jay: Yeah well, you can you leave now.

Bey: No. Im not leaving here without you!

Jay: Guess you'll be living here! 

Bey: Jay let me help you!

Jay: Nah! I'm good! I don't need your help. 

Bey: Yes you do!

Jay: I'm fine without your help. Why you wanna help me?

Bey: Because I hurt you. I wanna fix it!

Jay: No-

Bey: Just let me help you!

Jay: Alright Beyonce damn!

Bey: I know you still love because you haven't let go of my hand.

Jay: *looks down at his hand*

Bey: *stand up* I'll be back to pick you up in the morning. *kisses his forehead* *whispers in his ear* I love you Jay! *leaves*

(Jay)

I don't know how to feel. Should I be happy that she came to see and that she wants to take care of me. Or should I hate her the same way she hates me. I guess you gotta love them in order to hate them. I know that I keep fuckin up in this bipolar relationship, but she said some fucked up shit to me. I can't believe I'm laying here in this hospital bed. Was I really gonna leave my son? I gotta be stronger than that. Stronger than this! Beyonce got me soft. I need to find my way back to me. I can't do that with Bey being in my life like she used to be. I need to be away from her emotionally to see if this what is really I want, or need for that matter. I'll be there for my son regardless. I wanna go back to my Big Pimpin days! We need a time out.

*Bey walks back into the waiting room*

Angie: Is he okay?

Bey: Yeah he's okay. I gotta come back in the morning to pick him up. 

Ty: Well we're glad that he's okay Bey. I was this close to not slapping the shit outta he's planet of the baboons sister when she walked out! 

Angie: What did she say to you in the room?

Bey: Nothing. Just talking out the side of her neck. 

Ty: You shouldve slapped her ass.

Bey: Can y'all take me back home?

Angie: Of course! But what happen with Jay?

Bey: I don't wanna talk about it.

Ty: You okay Beyonce?

Bey: *fighting back tears* Mhmm. Come on please. I wanna to home. 

*They drive Bey home.*

Ty: Do you need me to drive to the hospital tomorrow morning?

Bey: No thank you. I don't wanna bother you. I don't even know if I'm gonna be coming home or going to Jay's so..

Angie: Are you sure that you'll be able to drive?

Bey: Yeah. Thank you guys. *gets out* Love you guys!

Ty&Angie: Love you too Bey! 

(Bey) 

I walked into my building, went to my floor. Unlocked my door. Threw my purse on the couch! I walked into the kitchen. I opened my fridge. I stared into the fridge for a few a moments. I knew that there was food was in there, but for some reason I saw nothing. I was hungry as hell. I had to snap out of it. I had to feed my son. Im craving of some Jay's waffles right now. I won't be getting those for a long while! I decided to make a turkey sandwich. I took three bites of it and I was full. My stomach was full of guilt, sadness, anger, and this cheap ass bread! I went to my bedroom. Used the toilet. I ran myself some hot bath water. Maybe this will help. I poured my lavender bubble bath. The last time I should this was when Jay...My tears fell hard! I feel terrible! I hate myself for saying what I said. I love him more than anything. I gotta fix this somehow. He's never gonna forgive me. Do we need to be together? Do we need a time out? A break? I'm tired of this breaking up and making up! Should we stop breaking up, or should we stop making up! I'm thinking too much! I need to relax. I let the bathtub fill up. I grabbed my iPod dock and plugged it up. I put on my Sade and Jill Scott playlist! I lit my candles! I got in the bathtub. I sat there for about 15 minutes, before I washed my body! My son was calm. I guess the mood of the scenery helped. I guess little Jayden was sleeping! I slowly and carefully got up out of the tub and walked to my closet. I got dressed. Tank top, sports bra and panties. Got underneath the covers. Fell asleep shortly after. I woke up the next morning at 9:36. I threw on a sweat shirt,some sweats, brushed my teeth, washed my face, threw my hair into a bun! I grabbed my purse and went my car. I got to hospital and Jay was sitting outside on the bench. I guess I was late. He noticed my car. He got inside. 

Jay: Damn. What took so long?

Bey: I'm sorry.

Jay: I know.

Bey: Are we going to your house or mine?

Jay: Yours.  

Bey: Are you sure? 

Jay: Yeah! You gotta bigger TV! 

Bey: ....don't you need clothes?

Jay: Yeah. Stop by my house I guess. 

Bey: Okay. I gotta get some gas first. 

*Bey drives to the nearest drive gas station* 

Bey: Do you mind putting the gas in the car?

Jay: Why can't you do it? You're not handy cap remember.

Bey: It's not easy getting in and out.

Jay: Its not impossible either.

Bey: Forget I asked! *opens door*

Jay: Gimme the card sausage toes! 

Bey: *hands Jay her card* Thank you. 

*They put gas in Bey's car. Go to Jay's house then drive to Bey's house. They walk in*

Bey: You can sleep in the guest room, the couch or where ever feel comfortable!

Jay: Ight.

Bey: Are you hungry?

Jay: Yeah. You ain't gone cook for me; are you? Then I'mma really die!

Bey: You like when I cook you breakfast. I was just going make you some soup!

Jay: Soup isn't gonna do anything but make me mad.

Bey: Your voice is raspy. Soup and orange juice will help. 

Jay: You think you're a doctor now? 

Bey: Do you wanna eat or not?

Jay: Yeah Beyonce. 

Bey: I thought so. Now go sit or lay down. 

Jay: *walks to the couch* Don't be telling me what to do! 

Bey: Yeah yeah yeaah! 

*Throughout the day Jay stayed on the couch. Bey stayed on the love seat. They kept a distance. Bey asked if needed anything and if he were okay every 30 minutes. Jay seemed to be on his phone; playing a game or texting. Bey didn't ask. Jay went to sleep at 9. Bey went to sleep at 11. She hard to time sleeping. 

(Bey)

I wish this boy would stop kicking me. Maybe if I rub my belly he would stop.

Bey: *rubs belly* Jayden, can you stop kicking mommy please? You're killing me. Go to sleep bad boy. *baby kicks harder* Oww! Okay. You're not bad! Just stop kicking. Mommy is tired! I've been taking care of your daddy all day long. 5 minutes went by and he was still kicking. He was driving me crazy. I went to ask Jay to rub my stomach like he used to! 

Bey: Jaaay! *taps him* 

Jay: *opens one eye* Huh?

Bey: Your son won't stop kicking me. Can you talk to him or something?

Jay: That's right lil Jay. Kick her. Keep kicking her! Ya mama-

Bey: Stop playing! Can you calm him down?

Jay: I guess. *scoots back giving Bey room to lay down*

(Bey) 

Just the touch of his hand on my stomach relaxed Jayden! Jay kept rubbing in a circular motion. I didn't say anything I knew that if Jay took his hand off Jayden would go bananas. I quickly fell asleep. I woke up the next morning; Jay and I were back to back. I got up out of the bed. Went back to room to brush my teeth. I went to make some cereal and I took it back to my room. I sat up in my bed watching TV. There was a knock on my door about an hour later.

Bey: Its open.

Jay: *comes in* Uh. I think we need to talk.

Bey: Okay. About what?

Jay: Me and you. 

Bey: Okay. You can sit down.

Jay: *sits at the edge of the bed facing Bey* 

Bey: Should I start?

Jay: Gahead!

Bey: Okay. Well first off Im really sorry Jay. I didn't mean...well I guess I did. I didn't think it would result to what it did. But I gotta be honest what you did was selfish. You were gonna leave me to raise OUR son by myself-

Jay: It was selfish. You're right. It was dumb. You said shit to me that I'm not sure if I can ever forgive you for. 

Bey: You said things to me that hurt me badly, but I didn't try to hurt myself. You hit me! In my face Jay! More than once! Gave me bruises and everything. I've forgiven you..Why cant you forgive me?

Jay: It's that easy for me-

Bey: You do realize that you cheating on me is why I said the things that I've said. It came from hurt, sadness and anger. You put me through a lot Jay. I've been right here by your side through everything. Showing you support while we were broken up.

Jay: That was one event Beyonce!

Bey: So what! It shows that I love you even though you constantly treat me like shit. 

Jay: Don't act innocent Beyonce! You had ya shares of fuck up! Abortions, cheating, lying, not being home! How many niggas did I have to fight-

Bey: I never told you lose your temper and fight! 

Jay: I shouldn't have to! I never bought any of these bitches anything. You on the other hand spending money on that mark ass nigga.

Bey: We both did each other wrong. We let other people interfere with our relationship-

Jay: Do you have feelings for him?

Bey: For who?

Jay: Justin.

Bey: Jay-

Jay: Yes or no Bey.

Bey: I love you Jay.

Jay: You can't love me when you have feelings for another nigga.

Bey: I do love you!!

Jay: So you do have feelings for him?

Bey: Yeah. A little-

Jay: *shakes his head* Look I appreciate you coming to see me and tryna help but we need to take a step back for a minute. I need to see if I really want this. Just because we love each other doesn't mean that we're meant to be together. We obviously need a time out from each other. 

Bey: *wipes tears* Maybe you're right. I need time to think. If you love something; you let it go, and if it comes back then its yours. I don't know if we should stop breaking up or if we should stop making up. I think we should see what else is out there. I guess, it's seems like that's you wanna do. It hurts to know that we aren't together *wipes tears* but I don't want to be in an unhappy relationship that will later on hurt our son. So if us being apart...*chokes up* Sorry. I um. Im sorry but I can't have you stay here knowing that we're not trying work on us-

Jay: I know. I called a cab a little while ago. Im going back home. Like I said; I appreciate it. But our relationship is broken. Maybe a break will make realize something. Make us see what we saw before. *Cab hunks* Welp. There's my ride, I mean cab. I'll be at the next appointment. I gotta go. *kisses her forehead* *leaves*

(Bey) 

Wow. Jay and I are really broken up. I don't even know if we'll ever get back together. This could be forever. I swear he does this just for an excuse to sleep around! I kept crying. Eventually I fell asleep.

(February 1st)

*Bey's house*

Bey: See you later babe. *kisses him*

Justin: See you tonight right.

Bey: Of course. *smiles*

Justin: *kisses her* I'll call you *leaves*

Bey: Okay. *winks*

Kelly: I can't believe you're dating someone else. This is so weird.

Ty: GOOD! Jay is old fuckin news! Ya snooze then ya lose.

Kelly: Do y'all you know...have sex?

Ty: Now that is just trifllin. You KNOW Beyonce is not giving up the goods.

Bey: Thank you Ty. Not right now at least.

Angie: You don't feel weird dating him while you're pregnant with Jay's baby?
Bey: For 100th time! No! I don't. Jay is dating Chrissy. We're  over and done with. Us dating other people won't stop us from co-parenting when the baby comes. 

To Be Fucking Continued !!!!!!!!!!!!!