Jerry Springer Shit

Hey Beyhive. Let me say that I LOVE ALL OF YOU GUYS! Y'all comments and tweets have me DYING LAUGHING! I appreciate y'all reading this blog. To the ones that DM'd Ty my blog Y'ALL AINT SHIT! But anyway, to all the NON BEYSTANS that read; I appreciate y'all as well...on with this EPISODE! Last post the girls, Ty and Julez went out to eat and shopping. Tony walked up to their table. Him and Bey went in his car to talk. They exchanged numbers, and started texting. They went back to Bey and Jay's house. They started to hint Jay about Tony. Bey and Jay went in their room to talk and Jay ALMOST won the bet but they got interrupted by PASTOR MICHELLE WILLIAMS. Solo and Chrissy fought. Solo busted her car windows with her ratchet ole self...Jay answered the door and it was Chrissy and Tony were at the door!...


*10 minutes go by, everyone has calmed down. There was a knock at the door*


Jay: I'll get it.
Michelle: Lets read the bible and pray it isn't the cops
Bey: Sorry God! Michelle SHUT THE FUCK UP!! AINT NO BODY WORRIED ABOUT GOD RIGHT NOW!


(At The Door)


Jay: *opens the door* Chrissy ??? Tony ???
Bey: What the hell ?

Ty: Shit just serious REAL FAST!

Angie: Its..about.. to DOOOOWN! Are youuuuuuuuu reeeeadddyy tooooo ruuuumbbbllee

Kelly: Lemme go get the pop corn! 

Solo: I need to go check on my child before this shit goes down! *gets up and walks to  his room*

Bey: Yeaaah! Imma go with you *follows Solo*

Ty: Uh uhn! Beyonce where yo bi-racial ass going ?

Kelly: Bi racial ?

Angie: Girl you know Matthew ain't her daddy !

Michelle: Mhm! Matthew is Kelly daddy!

Kelly: Y'all whores ain't shit!

Jay: Im so fuckin confused! What the fuck is going on?

Chrissy: I'll be HAPPY to explain!

*Bey is trying creep away but her heavy foot ass got caught*

Jay: Aye! Where the fuck you think you going ?

Bey: *mumbles* Shit!...I was going ummmm to check on Julez! 

Jay: Nah! Yo ass ain't slick!

Bey: I gotta go pee ?

Jay: NO! Not workin! Go get me a tshirt! AND BRING YA ASS RIGHT BACK!

Bey: You wanna put a please on that ?

Jay: You wanna be single ?
Bey: Nigga please! Your ass ain't letting me go anywhere.

Jay: Ight! You gotta point! Just go get the shirt and bring ya ass back. You ain't escaping this shit!

Bey: Okay! Jesus Christ..

Angie: Beyonce! Now you sound like Michelle !

Bey: SHUT UP! *goes the room*

Bey's thoughts:

"Awww shit Beyonce! Jay is about to murder me! Now is the time for Michelle's prayers! Lawd Jesus! Alright Lord, Im calling on your holy name. Lord please forgive for all of my sins! Im about to get murdered and thrown over the Brooklyn bridge! Amen! If I do survive, I will never hear the end of this !

*Bey grabbed a tshirt and walked out of the room! Her and Solo meet in the hallway*

Solo: Thu thu! You are about to get killed! I will miss youu!

Bey: I know! I' scared as hell! This man is about to kill me! I should have told him before!

Solo: I wanna know why Christopher and Tony the Tiger are doing here together!?
Bey: Chile! Only the Lord knows!

Solo: In that case lets ask Michelle. She is close enough to God!

Bey: *giggles* I need her prayers

Solo: Show do! 

Jay: *yelling from the living room* BEYONCE!! HURRY THAT ASS UP!

Bey: *whisper* SHIT!...Im coming!

Solo: Dear God! Please don't let me Thu thu die tonight! AMEN! 

*They walk into the living room. Ty, Angie, Kelly and Michelle sitting on the couch. Solo sat next to them. Watching and anticipating this real life soap opera! Tony and Chrissy were standing apart*

Jay: Mrs. Knowles , You care to tell me why your ex boyfriend in standing my fuckin living room ?

Bey: What happen to Mrs. Carter ?

Jay: Not right now...Explain this shit!

Bey: Umm! How about we; me and you go back in the bedroom and finish what we started earlier and I'll explain afterwards.

Angie: Now is the time for ya sermon Prayers.

Ty: Hallelujah! Pull out that Bible!

Solo: SHAHAHAH DADAADAAAD *speaking in tongues*

Kelly: Yeess Lord !! AMEN FATHER!

Bey & Jay: SHUT UP !!!!

*They stopped talking*

Jay: *trying to stay calm* Now..Beyonce! You better have GOOD ASS explanation for shit!

Bey: Jay I-

Chrissy: Your bitch has been texting and creepin' with my man.

Kelly: Oh shit!

Ty: This is some Jerry springer shit!

Solo: BITCH! Don't no body want your ugly ass!

Angie: GET EM SOLO!

Jay: What the fuck is she talking about Beyonce ?

Bey: Christopher hunty! You have ONE more time to call me a bitch and I'mma put your ugly ass on a stretcher! *To Jay* Babe I have no idea what this bitch is talking about!

Jay: Who you been creepin wit ?

Bey: Jay! NO BODY!! She is LYING!!

Ty: Kelly, bitch hand me some popcorn.
Angie; Aye nigga stop hogging the shit!

Solo: Fat ass!

Tony: Look-

Jay: Aye nigga just be silent!

Tony: Nigga what the fuck ?

Jay: *try's to rush him but Bey jumps in front of him and stops him*

Bey: Babe, stop. Don't start please.

Jay: *takes her hands off of his chest* Get off of me!

Chrissy: Look! Why the fuck do I need to lie ?

Solo: Because ugly bitches have low self esteem! Lying whores!

Ty: Yes high 5 bitch *they high 5*

Bey: Would you get the fuck out and stop making up shit. You're just made because you were a fucking JUMP OFF.....SOMEBODY GOT FIYAAAHHDDD

Kelly: HEYY HEYY!

Ty: You's a HOE..You's a HOE!

Michelle: Sideline HOE.

Chrissy: Would y'all shut the fuck up!

Solo: BTTCH! YOU MUST DIDN'T GET A GOOD ENOUGH ASS BEATIN' *attempts to get up*

Michelle: *stops her* Don't do it miss Celie! Don't do it. 

Jay: Someone better start talking and REAL FAST!

Bey: Jay, I'm just as confused as you are babe.

Kelly: Well, can someone say something because y'all audience would like to know as well.

Bey: KELLY!! Zip it!

Chrissy: Like I JUST said! This BITCH has been creepin with my-

Bey: *trys to rush her but Jay stops and puts her against the wall and gets in her face*

Jay: STOP!! You're about to piss me even more!

Bey: *looks away and stands there*

Chrissy: That's right bitch check mode!

Bey: *balls up her fist* See bitch you're only trying me because Jay is blocking me from beating your ass!

Solo: Ain't no body holding me back.

Jay: LOOK!!! ALL THEES SIDE CONVERSATIONS NEED TO STOP!!!! SHIT!!

Ty, Solo, Angie, Kelly Michelle: Yes poppa Jay!!

Jay: NOW! Christopher-I mean Chrissy *Ty, Solo, Angie laugh* Who and what are you talking about?

Chrissy: How many times do I have to have to say  this. SHE HAS BEEN TEXTING AND CREEPIN MY MAN!

Kelly: BITCH WHO IS YOUR MAN ?

Ty: A bull dog! A human wouldn't date her dog lookin ass!

Angie: *whispers* Jay did!

Chrissy: TONY!

Bey: Tony WHAT ? *confusded*
Chrissy: TONY IS MY MAN!!!!! 

Jay: WHAT THE FUCK ?

Ty: *falls on the floor* OH SHIT! THIS BITCH DONE SAID TONY IS HER MAN!

Kelly: *starts jumping up and down* OH SHIT! Lemme record this Jerry Springer ass shit!

Angie: This hood rat stole my man!

Solo: Rest in Peace to my Thu thu. Michelle grab ya Bible!

Michelle: Lord father we're calling on ya holy name!

Bey: Wait, wait, wait! Christopher and Tony ?? This has to be a joke!

Ty: This shit sure is HILARIOUS!

Jay: You been talkin to this nigga!?

Bey: Jay!! It's not what it looks like.

Jay: Looks like you been talkin ya lame ass ex boyfriend.

Tony: It's really not what y'all think! Me and Baby girl are just friends!

Jay: Baby girl ? What the fuck ? *trys to fight him but stops him*

Bey: STOP! If I can't fight. You can't either!

Jay: You better tell me why this nigga is calling you "baby girl"!!! 
Tony: It's just a nick name I gave her when we were kids.

Bey: Thank you Tony! Jay stop overrating !

Chrissy: Im not here for this "friendship"

Angie: Bitch, ain't no body ask you what you're here for!

Jay: What the hell you thanking him for ? That won't change shit!

Tony: Look man, you and Chrissy are taking this to seriously!

Kelly: *cough cough* You mean Christopher!

Bey: Yeah Jay you-

Jay: Lemme see the text messages *sides eyes Bey*

Chrissy: *hands him the phone* Here !

Jay: *looking through the msgs* Ohh hey Gorgeous smiley face huh!*gave her the death* Look! Beyonce clear my house out and when you finish me and you gone talk!

Bey: Jay-

Jay: Now Beyonce! *walks away*

TO BE FUCKING CONTINUED